There’s a scene in the Will Smith movie Hitch where he’s teaching his matchmaking client how to kiss.
The secret, he says, is to go 90% of the way and let them come towards you for the other 10%.
When influencing behaviour, there comes a point where we have to let them come towards whatever it is we are suggesting they do.
If they don’t, we’re forcing change rather than influencing it. And when we force our idea or our approach on someone, they are likely to resent or reject it.
Instead, by leaving a gap and putting control in their hands, their behaviour ends up being their choice and their decision.
It’s no longer your idea, it’s theirs 💋.
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