Buyers are (not) liars

I was taken aback during a sales training session when a consultant declared: “All buyers are liars.”

What he meant was you can’t trust customers to say what they’ll actually do.

I bristled at this.

It’s a defensive, pessimistic view of customers.

Sure, he probably has plenty of examples where buyers let him down.

But he’s also been in sales for 30 years, which only proves that most of the time, buyers do follow through.

Still, there’s a kernel of truth in what he said.

Are buyers defensive? Usually.

Do they withhold information? Sometimes.

Do they change their mind? Absolutely.

But none of this makes them liars. It makes them human. 

Buyers don’t want to be ripped off, either by paying too much or getting less than expected. And salespeople don’t want to be taken advantage of either, by wasting time on a deal that falls through or leaving money on the table.

The real problem with “buyers are liars” is that it labels customers with a character flaw.

And you can’t influence character.

What you can influence is behaviour.

• Defensiveness? Ease it with language like: “It’s completely up to you” or “Feel free to say no, but…”

• Withholding information? Normalise sharing: “Most customers tell us about their situation so we can get them the best outcome.”

• Changing their mind? Respect it: “I’m disappointed we couldn’t work together, but please let me know if things change.”

Blaming character shuts down influence. Understanding behaviour opens it up.

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