When chairing school council meetings, a principal I knew had a simple trick: he deliberately gave people something to argue about.
His favourite example? Suggesting they introduce donuts to the tuckshop.
It was never really about the donuts. Heβd noticed that once people had the chance to vent about something, it became much easier to win support for the initiatives he actually wanted to succeed.
A few behavioural dynamics were at play:
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The need to be heard. Venting over a decoy issue gave people a sense of procedural fairness. Once they felt their voice had been acknowledged, they were more likely to accept other outcomes.
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The satisfaction of a win. Even a small victory created a sense of influence, which made people more open to compromise on bigger decisions.
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Perspective shift. After squabbling over a low-stakes but emotionally charged topic, members often became more thoughtful and serious when turning to the higher-stakes matters.
This principal intuitively understood something behavioural scientists love to study.
Sometimes the smartest move in leadership is picking the fight youβre willing to lose, so you can win the battles that really count.
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