Are you a "yes" or "no" person?
A friend texted to see whether I wanted to adopt a five-year-old retriever.
Visiting my parents, I told them about the message.
“Go for it!”, said my father without hesitation.
But should I?
By nature, I’m a “no before yes” type of person.
My brain looks for reasons not to do something before it turns to reasons why I should.
My father is more “yes before no”.
He’ll take the opportunity and then work out the details.
According to psychologist E. Tory Higgins’ Regulatory Focus Theory, we are predisposed to have either a prevention or promotion focus.
- Prevention-focused people tend to look at what could go wrong. They default to “no” and need to be convinced to turn to “yes”. This can lead to missed opportunities.
- Promotion-focused people tend to leap at opportunities and then worry about logistics. This can lead to them overcommitting themselves.
Neither is right or wrong, but it helps to know your tendency and those you are trying to influence.
A prevention-focused person like me may need more justification up front, but once committed, should see things through. Use their talent for spotting risk to strengthen the case to proceed.
A promotion-focused person may be easier to get on-board, but harder to get to prioritise what you’ve agreed. Use their enthusiasm as a catalyst for action.
So did I get the dog?
Yes.
My father’s encouragement was what I needed to push me over the line. And Lexi has been one of the great loves of my life.
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